Fix the F-ing Ratio

Ok, what is up with clubs having more dudes than chicks? I went to Attica last night and the guy:girl ratio was like 2:1.

All I can say is:

Oh...and remind me.....next time I get hold of the key to the front gate, after getting the maid to agree on keeping the door to the house unlocked....

...I better make sure I brought the right key.

Turns out that I'm in a far better shape than I thought....managed to climb over the gate...and got my dress caught on the way down.

Nearly strangled myself and ruined the dress. Luckily it was one of those wrap dresses I could slide out of easily and no one's up for me to flash them at 5-6 am-ish.....

Wtf speech.

All from the same woman...

"I was in Geneva, unfortunately there were many Middle Eastern people there." 

- and that's why she didn't get a good impression of Switzerland. Yes.

"Obama bin Laden"

- not a good slip.

"I could be on a diet but when the cake is placed in front of me, I forget about my diet pills."

- right.

She's a Relationship Manager (ie. private banker) for a prestigious investment bank, giving a presentation to the children of high net-worth clients.

Don't Be A Fat Tourist

Anyone read this scary story? My mother just told me about it yesterday...

Ok so this is the Singapore Flyer:

...another overrated tourist attraction. Sorry, unlike London where you have a shitload of historically significant beautiful buildings and *may* enjoy 30 min in a box, Singapore only has buildings. Like office buildings. Boring office buildings.

Anyway, that ride suddenly stopped mid-air last year in December. And they couldn't turn it back on. And guess what? The only way down is to abseil down that shit. Yeah. Oh, did I mention it's 42 floors high?

Yeah...pity the poor souls who had the misfortune of being right at the top.

Most Wtf Compliment

"You're lucky! You look very high-maintenance...."

Murphy's Law!

Thank you M. 

"The other day, I was driving my friend's dad's car right? And then I got hit at the back by this cab driver! And so we were exchanging info and so on and I went, "You know what would really suck? If my mom drives by and sees this now." And yes! At that moment, my mom drove past!!! And the light turned red. And she stopped the car and rolled down the window. And I was like, "Oh fuckkkkkkkkk...." I mean of all places, I got into an accident outside Tanglin Mall. And what was my mom doing there???" -M

See guys? Singapore is wayyy too small.

I was at the Watson's in Takashimaya today and noticed something funny. Right next to the condoms was a whole host of pregnancy test kits. Weird placement...I mean, why would they do that? Here you are thinking of the fun you'll be having as you reach for a box of condoms.....and then you get reminded why sex can be very, very scary.

Maybe they're hoping to send these messages instead?

1. "Aaaahhh!!!! Pregnancy! Scary! Grab a condom NOWWWWW!!!!!"

2. "Wasn't that a fun night? Hey, did you use a condom? Yeah, didn't think so...here, grab the pregnancy test kits."

3. "As instructed by the Singapore government, we're here to remind people that it's best to stick to our conservative values. When you reach for a condom, remember the consequences."

We Fly Highhhhhhh

So I went to Zouk tonight and it's mambo night. Whatever the DJ was on must be fantastic. Random ass songs.

I mean, ok, hearing the Rick Roll song twice was kinda weird but maybe this guy has gotten one too many Rick Rolls and decided to spread the misery. The songs were really old but it's Mambo Night. Fine. Then Disney songs came on. And children songs...like "Top of the World" and this song:

Yeah...wtf. Seriously, I need to find out what he's on...